Top 5 Things I Don’t Give a Shit About
(Since Tom had to be a damnable overachiever and post a blog, here’s my debtiness to him)
1. Michael Jackson’s Stadium Funeral* : I mean, c’mon. As soon as I see the term “heartfelt” plastered next to Brooke Shield’s whimpering mug (a mug that’s definitely not standing up to all that discount surgery) I think to myself. “Yeah. Actress? Tears really aren’t all that hard for someone as highly trained in the faking arts is Brooke. Didn’t she attend Royal Shakespeare? Oh, no you say? Hmm.. interesting. Actually… better question. Did she even KNOW Michael Jackson? And if so, what was her favorite ride at Neverland Ranch? Oooh actually, possibly the best question of all… Did she let him babysit her bundle of joy? ****Wharggarbl**** As the Magic 8-Ball says… “All signs point to NO.’” So in summary, no.. I’m not really down with the MJ post-mortem charity ball.
2. The Rain: Okay that’s a giant stinky pile of lie. I’m tired of the rain, tired in a way that makes my metaphorical balls ache. We had a two-hour monsoon today, which wasn’t as much fun to drive in as one might expect. Then the sun came out for like 30 seconds, and it was like the first day of a coke relapse. I wanted to run around the streets howling about the beauty of it all. Fortunately for all involved, I refrained.
3. Sarah Palin: A co-worker and I talked about the many reasons why this woman is insane, and should appear on no ballot but the one at the funny farm for “Inmate of the Year.” Any time SNL can gobble a whole season of ratings up like Hungry, Hungry Hippos based solely on the crazy shit you say in front of a prime-time newsjockey? Summary disqualification for the Oval Office.
4. Gov. Mark Sandford: Hit that exotic booty, big man. Hit it like Teddy Kennedy’s car on a hot Saturday night.
5. My typos. Suck it. You know you love the typos. You know they’re in here somewhere… look there’s one now! fdgijaerU4IRGIRAG. Fabulous.
* Disclaimer - Claire if you’re reading this, this particular section has nothing to do with your texting me about the show 
It’s just the easiest thing to bitch about today since it’s inescapable… and I wanted to make fun of Brooke Shields. Because she’s an impending face-avalanche.
2 Responses to “Top 5 Things I Don’t Give a Shit About”
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Umm… Tom’s post was his debt to my post about the agreement, not a fresh one.
Who’s the over-achiever now? *evil grin*
The question is, who’s plastic surgery is worse, Latoya Jackson or Brooke Shields?