(Wrote this Draft Last October) File this under HA!
(I wrote this draft and never posted it. It’s like a time capsule!)
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I shouldn’t be writing this post.
I should be doing some homework, or (holy hell) cleaning my long-suffering house, doing the laundry, or perhaps even sleeping. I’m not. Instead, I’m piling one more thing on the plate. I’m signing up for Nablopomo and committing to a blog post a day for the month.
I’ve updated my blog three times in the last ten months. One post didn’t even count really - I posted a paper I wrote for school because I wrote it scary-fast and it got an A. I’ve just fallen out of the blogging habit. Full-time work, (more than) full-time school, a renewed attempt to read fifty-two books again this year, and just the regular old schmeg of life have taken up any bits of free time I might have been able to scrape together for writing.
Despite the toll this takes on my social life and my “fun” time, I don’t regret a bit of what I’ve taken on. I’ve learned a lot about myself in the past year, specifically just how much I’m capable of taking on. I’d never have known how little sleep I can actually function on. I’d never have known I could take two years of school and jam it into sixteen months, and still graduate with a GPA I can be proud of. I will never be able to say “I don’t have time” or “I don’t have the energy” for something small. If I want to get done, it can in fact get done. I am capable of as much as I set my mind to.
It hasn’t always been pretty. I’ve had a lot of blessings to help get me where I am. I have a stellar husband who puts up with the less-than-stellar moments of temper; the disastrous house and strange mealtimes; the wife who sometimes runs on caffeine, catnaps, and sheer force of will. I still have friends who love me, even though (as it’s been pointed out) I’ve seen them about a handful of times since the beginning of the year. I’ve been forgiven over and over for skipping basically an entire year of Wednesday night family dinners that were my idea in the first place (I love you Missy! Sorrryyyy!)
Now all of this insanity is coming to an end. December 11th, I send in the last paper of the last class of my Bachelor in English. I will have the piece of paper, and (for a little while) I will have a WHOLE lot of time on my hands. More time than I’ve had since I was twenty years old. I’ll be able to ring in the New Year without the lingering dread of class starting on the 3rd (just after the departure of the last holiday hangover!) I’ll be able to lay on the couch when the snow is piling up and read the latest Ken Follett without an ounce of guilt, knowing I should be reading chapter three of some Gods-forsaken textbook about operant conditioning. It will be a little like breaking free of the Skinner box and the damned little button, actually!
So… what the hell am I going to do with myself?!
PLAY!! PLAY PLAY PLAY!!!
I’m going to finally finish the stained glass fireplace screen I promised my in-laws two years ago. I’m going to read books because they’re awesome, and not because they’re assigned. I’m going to edit the three books in pitiful draft form that have languished in my hard-drive, and work on new projects! I’m going to finally learn how to knit (Really knit. Not BS knitting like I do now, than ends in tears and stubs of scarves.) I’m going to sleep in until noon on weekends, wake up, eat Cheerios, then take a power nap directly after, rousing only to snuggle with Indiana and stick my tongue out at Eddie.
It won’t be all fun and games (although, there will be a lot of fun AND games). I’ll still be “studying”. The GRE and the MTEL (if I don’t take them before graduation) will be right around the corner. I’ll be hunting for a grad program, and jumping right back into the fray. But it won’t be the hell-ride my undergrad has been. Hopefully, anyway.
So here’s to big dreams about “life on the outside.” Dreams filled with stained glass, good books, hand-knitted slippers, writing, editing and long, glorious naps on the couch.
And of course, some blogging.
Hurrah!
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