The Breakdown (But not the one you’re thinking of…)
So… yesterday I did a trial run of this little housework resolution of mine, to see how much I could actually get done in an hour. Would there be a visible dent in my crud factor? Would that geiger counter we bought stop shrieking in horror every time we pointed it at the fridge? Most importantly, would the cats notice any change in household quality?
I decided to do a trial run. I did as much as I could in an hour, without breaking my ass, but while trying to successfully multitask. I started by bagging up some laundry (three loads to be exact) and taking it down to throw in.
Ten minutes* to do this. Okay. That’s a dent.
I scooped the kitty boxes, and fed them. Five minutes, if you count the minute shooshing them out of my way to get to the food dishes in the midst of their gastronomical excitement. I emptied the trash, kitchen and bathroom, and ran it downstairs to the bins. Ten minutes more. Minor successes abound! I decided while killing time waiting to flip the clothes, I’d empty the dishwasher.
Thirty minutes later, dishes are put away, sink is emptied and cleaned down, countertops are wiped down, a few stray objects are put away, and the glass cooktop (a housewife’s arch-rival if ever there was one) is scrubbed and looking less like the black blob that ate Tasha Yar in Star Trek: TNG.
I flipped the clothes into the dryer, went to get dinner with Eddie, and then folded and trundled the clothes back upstairs. This took another 30 minutes total. I also took a few minutes to wrestle errant ribbon away from both cats, and spent a few minutes hunting for other ribbons they hadn’t yet eaten. I booked five minutes for this. Say what you will about this.
I set out to spend sixty minutes cleaning my house, and ended up with half-again the progress. Better yet, it actually LOOKED like I had done something! I had a clean kitchen! Clean enough that Eddie made sure it stayed that way when he baked cookies tonight.
If this is what my most recent New Year’s Resolution challenge will yield? Bring on the excellence. Sorry Former President Zipperhead… you’re going to have to find your fifty quid somewhere else.
* It is important to note that I only count time spent doing laundry when I am ACTUALLY HANDLING the laundry. Gathering, sorting, throwing in, flipping into the dryer, folding, putting away… None of this “throw it in the wash and dry and call it an hour and a half” bullshit. That’s Peg Bundy math.
